YLEO Essential Edge Article
"Walking in Shadow Valley"
Thomas had it wrong when he wrote, "Do not go gentle into
that good night." When a beloved parent is dying, the adult
child's most fervent wish is for a gentle and peaceful exit from
Living distributor found that her life's work had blessedly prepared
her for serving her parents during their last days.
Living Silver Marilee Tolen has more than two decades of experience
in holistic nursing, energy medicine, intuitive diagnosis, and
vibrational therapies. She is board certified in holistic nursing
and has served as a board member of the American Holistic Nursing
Association. She has trained with Carolyn Myss, Ph.D., and is
the founder and former director of a wellness center and integrative
and foremost, Marilee is a daughter. She was blessed to be able
to use all the comforting modalities she had learned in her career
to care for the two most important patients in the world: her
father and mother.
years' time, Marilee lost both of her parents. Martin J. Tolen
died in 2001 and Mary J. Tolen died in 2004. At her father's passing,
he told her, "This is just beautiful. This is the way it's
supposed to be. Tell the world about this!" Even though Marilee's
father died of emphysema, he nonetheless died peacefully with
a smile on his face.
Martin Tolen's death peaceful, when dying of emphysema can be
terribly traumatic as the patient struggles for every breath?
Marilee says that thankfully, her father was open to using oils.
She diffused frankincense and anointed his body with the spiritual
oils from the Twelve Oils of Ancient Scripture Kit.
the end stage, there is nothing better than the Twelve Oils of
Ancient Scripture," Marilee said. "No matter what our
religious background, dying is a spiritual process and anointing
father used the services of Samaritan Home Hospice, which is based
in New Jersey In addition to inhalers and anti-anxiety medications,
complementary holistic therapies eased his last months. He received
massage, Healing Touch, aromatherapy with Young Living essential
oils, and music therapy.
oils were a great source of comfort to our family. I couldn't
have been doing anything better. The greatest gift to him and
myself was using the oils," Marilee explained.
a special blend to help maximize oxygen for her father. She blended
rosemary, lemon, and peppermint, and her father enjoyed his "rosemint."
She also was aware of the serious side effects of pain medications-gastrointestinal
discomfort and constipation. Marilee recommends Di-Gize
on the belly for these problems.
years later, as Marilee's mother began losing her battle with
kidney cancer, she too entered Samaritan Home Hospice where she
received the loving application of essential oils. "The use
of oils brings the family together," Marilee said. She told
how family members have an instinctive need to touch. "Whether
you're holding hands, rubbing a brow, or touching a leg, essential
oils can be a part of that," she suggested.
for an elderly parent or relative can bring one up against depression.
"I have found that as a nurse and energy worker, just with
oils on my hands, running them gently through the patient's energy
field works wonders!" Marilee explained.
that in Alzheimer's care, a confused or combative patient can
be soothed by applying frankincense on your hands and running
it through their energy field and around their head, which calms
the patient amazingly "What a magic bullet we are using!"
has taught members of the hospice community ways to help and comfort
patients in the process of dying. "I also teach volunteers
how to help families through this process," she said. "Family
members feel helpless; there's not a whole lot they can do."
She explained that essential oils can augment conventional care,
especially with pain management. A situation might arise where
the patient awakes in the middle of the night in distress. "You
can apply the oils on the feet," she said. And it's
great to know how to rub an oil on a loved one's back."
never forgot her father's words to her: "This is the way
it's supposed to be. Tell the world about this!" She has
done just that in creating the M. J. Tolen Scholarship Fund that
gives educational funding for learning about complementary therapies
in end-of-life care. This scholarship fund honors both of her
parents and allows recipients to receive training in complementary
therapies that are ultimately healing even as the patient is dying.
information, visit www.peacefulpassages.org
or call the Samaritan Hospice Development Department at 1-800-229-8183::
1-800-229-8183 . Donations to the fund may be sent to the M.J.
Tolen Scholarship Fund for Complementary Therapies in End-of-Life
Care/ Samaritan Hospice/Five Eves Drive, Suite 300, Marlton, NJ
As a parent's
life quietly comes to a close, it can end with dignity and beauty
in a truly peaceful passage. Empowered families can assist a beloved
parent in going gently into that good night.
Reprinted with permission of Young Living, Lehi,
Essential Edge magazine